How Using a Morning Mantra Creates My Enjoyable Day
And Why You Should Use One Too
Several years ago, I was suffering from undiagnosed anxiety and depression. In an attempt to help, many friends and family told me to speak a phrase each morning. A mantra is a repetitive phrase or word to help with your concentration or meditation. Mantras can be found in most eastern religions, especially Buddhism. I also found them in my Taoist meditations, but before I learned what Taoism was, I had been taught to wake up and immediately state, “today is going to be a good day.” Next, I’m supposed to repeat this phrase throughout the morning until it becomes true. Afterward, I would feel happy if I said it enough to make it true. I would have convinced myself that the day was good. However, taking that approach caused the following:
Wake up and say, “Today will be a good day.”
Be convinced today would be a good day
My kids go crazy, work is challenging, I fought with my wife, my dog peed on the floor, etc.
Realize today was a bad day
I feel like a failure because I must not have said it enough or believed it enough
Anxiety over the next day intensifies
Depression sinks further
This didn’t happen every day, but I found myself having consecutive “bad days.” Afterward, I became depressed and anxious even more than the previous day! I’d wake up and ask, “Would today be ANOTHER bad day? When will these bad days end? Why am I so broken? Is there nothing I can do to escape this painful cycle?”
I contemplated changing my marriage (open vs. closed), leaving my job, and a series of other significant life changes to try and break out of my downward spiral. But the answer was much more straightforward and less drastic than I had initially planned.
About five years ago, I noticed that the Tao had begun to show itself in my life. Looking backward, I could see how the pieces started to fit together. You can read a more detailed account of my realization here: A Boy and A Yin-Yang.
In Taoism, I discovered that naming and labeling experiences as good and bad causes pain, anxiety, and even depression. Realistically, we define good days by a list of events that we associate with positive emotions. This list could be that I felt joy when my kids behaved well at school or that work was not stressful. Why were days bad? Because I created a list in my mind that defined what made a day terrible. Maybe work was stressful, something went wrong, or my wife and I argued. I soon realized these definitions were arbitrary; I made them up years ago, and they had no basis. In fact, they were actually harmful to me and my depression. If the series of events I defined as a good day didn’t occur, then that must have been a bad day. Since bad days are “bad,” I would feel bad. The life of a married father is rarely calm and relaxing. It’s always busy, crazy, and full of responsibility. Therefore, days rarely followed the list of good, only the list of bad.
So, in all cases possible, I dropped the labels of good and bad from my vocabulary. Days aren’t inherently bad or good, just as objects are not inherently male or female. I also don’t say good morning to others, especially my colleagues at work. I say, “Peaceful morning.” Or, because I live in Texas, I just say, “Morning.” Incredibly, this has lessened my daily anxiety as I don’t have a preconceived notion of how my day should happen. I simply allow the day to happen as is. I can be tired, sleepy, exhausted, or frustrated, but those physical reactions don’t mean the day was terrible. They just mean the day was what it was.
If you follow me on Mastodon (@patrickstewart@universeodon.com), you’ll see that I’ve begun to share my most recent morning mantra that removes the needless labeling of days. This mantra is always followed by a picture of a sunrise.
“I am thankful for living to see another sunrise, and I will use this miracle to help everyone I can.”
If you need more motivation in your mornings, and if you are stuck in a rut, give this mantra a try. Say it aloud, post it online, and tell a friend. Or, follow me on Mastodon, and when you wake up, take the joy that you have lived to see yet another day. Remember, several people did not see today’s sunrise. They didn’t know they were lying down for the final time as they likely expected to see the same morning, but instead, are moving beyond this life.
Also, remember that you came from the sun. The carbon in your body can only be created by an exploding star. So when you look at the sun, that is where part of you came from. Feel the connection between yourself and the sun burning millions of miles away.
You are a walking, talking, and thinking miracle of nature. You are the universe talking back to itself.
These aren’t jokes or philosophical prose. They are actual facts that you can find comfort in.
So when you wake up tomorrow, or if you’re just waking up today, join me in my morning mantra. It may make the difference you need.
I love this post. When my first son was born he nursed and began to cry. His tummy was sore and bothering him. This happened day and night until my family doctor suggested I try removing anything high in Lactose from my diet.
Two days later my son nursed and he was burped and stayed awake for about ten minutes and then he fell asleep for about six hours. His little tummy wasn’t hurting him and he relaxed. He was at peace.
I had convinced myself that I was a bad mother, making bad breast milk for him before that day.
When I needed to change one thing in my diet to help my son’s digestion.
It taught me not to label people,places, or things as good or bad. It also taught me to look for reasons that may suggest causes and effects.
Just live and let live, got me through many moments as a parent.