Who is That Man I See Starting Straight Back at Me?
Have you ever watched Disney’s Mulan? No, not that horrible live action remake during the pandemic. The original cartoon from the 90s with…
Have you ever watched Disney’s Mulan? No, not that horrible live action remake during the pandemic. The original cartoon from the 90s with Eddie Murphy as Mushu and without the strange witch with almost zero backstory.
During the movie, Mulan sings a song called Reflections. I remember not enjoying that song since it was slow paced and them movie had just started. Where was the funny, catchy, dance number? It didn’t speak to me and wasn’t fun. Maybe I just wasn’t the target demographic, but time can give you a new perspective on things.
When I was 16, my biology teacher, a rude basketball coach, commented on my hair line in front of the class one day. When I was 25, I began to notice that the lines in my forehead didn’t go away after I stopped scrunching my eyebrows. When I was in my mid 30s the few grey hairs in my head and beard turned into entire patches of salt and pepper. Now, my beard is 50/50 black and grey and my head hair I keep too short to notice.
I remember my father going through the same changes. Even as a child I wasn’t blind to my parents aging. He often worked with power tools and built cabnents. So, I thought the wear and tare on his hands was mostly because of his profession. I thought his grey hair was just the result of age.
My mom was young, skinny, and fair skinned. She was in her late 20s when I was born. So when she turned 40, I remember helping put a giant 4–0 sign in the front yard with all of her friends. Now 68, her hair would be completely grey if she stopped dying it and her skin is nearly to the point of thin old people stage.
Every morning, I stand in the mirror, usually half awake, and wonder how much longer I have left to look like myself. 20 years? 10 years? A picture of me at 30 doesn’t look THAT far off from a picture of me at 40. Sure, more grey hair, more lines, but you can tell it’s me. But take a picture of an 80-year-old and compare it to them at 20 and it’s almost like a different person!
Some people dye their hair, have plastic surgery, or pretend like it’s not going to happen, but it will happen. It must happen to everyone. So, what am I to do?
Age gracefully.
I enjoy the grey in my hair and beard. I earned it. I raised three babies into semi-functional humans. I married a terrific woman, and I’ve treated her the best I can for the last 15 years. I’ve fought for every job, promotion, and raise I’ve ever had, and nothing in my career has been given.
When the liver spots appear, I might start naming them. At least the first one. When I need to start walking with a cane, I’m going to buy the most wizard looking cane on Amazon that I can find and then smack my grandkids when they get out of line.
I’m going to treat myself to vacations, movies, quiet moments at home or at the park, and anything else I can afford because I only get this once chance at my life. Even if you believe in reincarnation, you don’t get to relive the same life.
Don’t struggle so much. We age like a river; slowly at first, and then rapidly. But the water doesn’t struggle against the pull of gravity, it simply follows the path of least resistance and comes to an end whenever it does. So, too, will our lives.
Live every day without worrying about tomorrow or regretting yesterday. You can’t change what has happened, and tomorrow isn’t here yet. Plan the best you can, think about your choices before you choose them, but let your heart and mind guide you.
The most Taoist thing I can tell anyone is, “Just go with it.” So, remember, age gracefully and enjoy your time.
