My Anchor Points: The Friends Who Kept Me Grounded
My friends on Substack who made an incredible impact on my writing journey.
I want to depart from my usual topics today and write something a little different.
Rather than talk about Taoism or my family, I want to pay respect to the friends who have stood by me through my writing journey. If you don’t know, Substack, where I write and produce my work, allows you to recommend writers and their publications. You’ll notice a list to the right if you navigate to my homepage. It’s also extremely easy to accumulate dozens of recommendations when subscribing to a new creator without realizing it.
Yesterday, I had 57 recommendations! Who would navigate a list that long? Is that helping any single writer if their name is buried in a list of 56 others? No. So, I spent 45 minutes combing through all 57 and discovered that many no longer publish on Substack. Perhaps they moved their work elsewhere or simply found a new path in life away from writing.
Regardless, many of my dear friends and writing mentors are here, and I feel I owe them a proper recommendation for all of the love, support, and generosity they have shown me over the years. However, I needed to shorten my recommendation list to best support and communicate how much I appreciate them. Truth be told, removing some people was painful. These writers were active, friendly, thoughtful, and talented. However, I wanted to make a statement. Appearing on my recommendation list is reserved only for those who have helped me tremendously through the years and made a profound impact.
After setting my guidelines, I cut my list to ten— I removed 47 writers. Now, I can confidently state that I have a strong and personal connection to every person, and I’m excited to tell you about them!
First, before I dive too deep, please know that if you don’t find yourself on this list when you might have been previously, that doesn’t mean I don’t respect or love you and your work. I do!
Let’s get into it.
Scroll down to read about each of these incredible individuals.
(In no particular order. If you’re on a laptop/desktop, use the header links to the left to jump directly there. If not, scroll down.)
Wilding Out by
Debra Groves Harmon
In 2023, I woke up one day and decided I would write. I had written in private journals and diaries before and even had a LiveJournal in the early 2000s, but I never wrote publicly with the passion and emotion I knew I could. So, I started a website and began to write. After each article, I shared them on Mastodon, an open-source social media network. I noticed a regular reader and commenter was a woman named Debra.
Following her profile links took me to Medium.com, a writing platform where she ran a publication called The Narrative Arc. The Narrative Arc is known for high-quality, deeply personal, and fantastic storytelling—especially Debra’s one-of-a-kind memoirs.
After I moved my work to Medium and started my own publication, The Taoist Online, Debra recommended me for the Medium Boost Program, thereby nearly singlehandedly launching my profile into the stratosphere!
We’ve had several phone and Zoom calls where she has shared writing tips and advice on maintaining a prominent publication. She taught me about quality editing and when to be forceful or lenient with rules. We’ve also spoken about life, Medium drama, and our families. I would go to any length to help Debra if she needed me, although I’m not sure what else I can offer beyond this recommendation she hasn’t already earned! Our online friendship continues today, and she helped me again this past week with more drama! There’s always someone saying something. If you love a great story and enjoy learning about life’s great mysteries through the experiences of others, please read her work.
So, to Debra, thank you for always being there for me and all the hard work you put into helping others.
Robin Wilding
I met Robin through a mutual friend on Medium and probably first talked to her on Slack or Discord. Of all the writers on this list, I often look to her for advice on my work and how to present myself to readers. She’s also the writer I talk to the most in general. In fact, the only fictional story I’ve ever written was edited by Robin! A passionate member of the Medium Boost program, she helped me run the unofficial Slack workspace for over a year. In fact, she ran it better over the last year than I ever could!
Her work is funny, pointed, and sincere. Comedy is often the best way to communicate brutal truths or harsh realities, and Robin is an expert at it. She’s also why I use Canva for all my artwork on my podcast and Substack—we are Canva buddies! Her tremendous success on Medium and Substack is a testament to her incredible talent, dedication, and passion for writing. And yes, she’s funny when you talk to her too.
When I returned to writing in February, Robin was the first person I contacted to ease back into the flow of content creation. I knew she would understand my departure, and we picked up where we left off—chatting, laughing, and sharing ideas and knowledge. Her encouragement is never-ending, and I’m so thankful I can rely on her.
Thanks for all the laughs and support Robin!
Ahmadou
The coolest French guy around, Ahmadou, was instrumental in my Medium days. We joined a publication named "How to Increase Your Medium Followers,” which had its own Discord. Ahmadou was friendly, helpful, nice, and a genuinely talented writer. I continue to publish his work on my Medium publication, and I look forward to each article he submits.
I remember we would both join calls when the Discord we shared held weekly meetings. Even when I used to hold my own Discord meetings or YouTube live streams, he was one of the only people there, excited to discuss and learn. We worked hard to keep that publication active, and for a long time, things were amazing. Even though Medium forced the decline of “meta” articles (writing about writing), Ahmadou is still full speed ahead, helping everyone he can and learning every day.
Thank you for always being friendly and attending live streams with me. Keep up your incredible work!
Ossiana Tepfenhart
When I think about Ossiana, I remember the day she sent me several voice memos detailing Medium’s backward and deplorable behavior. I should have saved those messages if I had thought about it, but that phone is long gone now.
Ossiana taught me it was ok to be angry and speak up for what I thought was right for the Medium community and my writers. Even if I did not affect the situation’s outcome, it was alright because I stood up for what I believed in and communicated it to those who matter. Now, I am comfortable speaking out about a platform's shenanigans, even if I have to do it on that platform, thanks to Ossiana. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but that doesn’t dull her positive impact on me. People are complicated and a mix of emotions and ideas, but Ossiana is a talented writer who can convey those ideas perfectly.
To Ossiana, thank you!
Hakima T A N T R I K A
When my publication began to take off, I accepted a writer named Hakima. When she published her first article with us, I was hooked! I loved her openness about her body and her experiences. I have a physical disability, and I used to find that level of transparency challenging to write. Reading her work, however, made me realize that sex and our sexual desires are not a bad part of life. We should be more open with each other and our partners regarding our physical wants and needs.
Everything from her photos and videos to her articles just proves how talented a creator she is. Blessed with nearly 2k subscribers at the time of this article, she deserves every single one because her work is worth every penny. She’s also the very first Substack writer I paid to read! While I left for a while, I recently became a paid member of hers again, and I knew I was in for a treat when I opened my first paid members-only post.
To Hakima, thank you for helping me keep myself open to exploring the passions and sexier side of life.
Dana DuBois
I met Dana as a member of Medium’s Boost Program. Initially, all early boost nominators were added to the Medium company Slack. We had direct access to employees like the content director, the boost program head, and even Tony, the CEO. Eventually, I think they got tired of having us in there. No one likes customers complaining constantly, especially when you don’t want to hear it.
On July 11, 2023, we were all kicked out of their Slack without warning. Feeling hurt and shocked, I created my own free Slack workspace and, using word of mouth and Medium comment sections, invited nearly all nominators. Dana joined on day one as the ninth member.
Since then, Dana has been a vocal supporter of all Medium writers and publication owners. I’ve watched her fight for desperately needed changes, deride needless algorithm adjustments, and lament the failures of Medium’s platform. All the while, she ran a fantastic publication and is now moving to Substack. But on a personal level, Dana has supported me when times were hard by lifting my spirits and helping maintain order in tricky situations. She’s always there when I have a question and is nearly always the first to answer.
To Dana, thank you for everything you do.
Sieran Lane
Remember the Slack I created in the previous story? Sieran was the first person I invited and was officially the first to join! He reached out through my Twitter, so I told him what I wanted to do about Slack. Since he liked the idea, he joined immediately after I created the workspace. Usually a quiet and shy individual, Sieran was always vocal when supporting me. I can’t count the private messages we’ve sent each other. Faced with his own set of personal struggles, Sieran is steadfast, cool-headed, and an absolute sweetheart. But I get the feeling that if I ever crossed him, he’d probably be the first to block me!
He writes about his life and the LGBTQ+ community and is outstanding at it! If you are interested, please subscribe to his work.
To Sieran, thank you for being a great friend and helping us build our Slack community.
Dixxie the Spiritualist Girl
Dixxie is unique on this list as she is one of only two people not from my Medium days but also recently started her Substack journey. In late February, I decided to return to writing after nearly a year hiatus. Algorithms don’t like downtime, and neither do subscribers who were used to never hearing from me.
After returning, my subscriber numbers began a tumultuous ride—I gained new members but lost them, too. My net gain was completely flat or going down despite putting in more effort than I had in months. I knew it would take time, but suddenly, Dixxie appeared in my feed with kindness and support. Honestly, I had second thoughts about writing again, but having a consistent reader and commenter, even if it was only one person, made the most significant difference mentally.
I find her work fascinating! Short and to the point, Dixxie loves witchcraft and finds beauty in the natural magic of nature. As I mentioned, she’s just starting on Substack, so support a new member!
To Dixxie, thank you for helping me push through those first few weeks. Things have already started to turn around, but I’m not sure I could have done it without your encouragement.
Gabriela Trofin-Tatár
Another new friend, Gabriela, is my partner in crime when writing about parenting and family life. We each have three kids, and I don’t know how I’ve survived as a father for so long. Like me, Gabriela can spend hours writing about her family and the struggles and worries they bring. But raising a family is magical. It’s like living through a science-fiction movie—these things morph and grow into something nearly unrecognizable from the previous year. Attitudes, behaviors, likes, and dislikes all change rapidly. The only thing that stays the same is nothing ever stays the same.
Nobody can eloquently describe this journey like Gabriela. Passionate and kind, she always finds time to comment on and like my posts and has quickly become a daily must-read. She even gave me the idea to narrate my articles, and I’m having the best time now. I’ve received great listener responses; none could have been possible without her.
To Gabriela, thanks for showing me that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Kids are tough, and raising a family is harsher, but knowing there’s another parent out there who seems to be so close to my struggles makes it that much easier.
Jenny Lane
My Medium account was created in 2013, not a year after the company was founded. I wrote one article about e-sports and forgot about it for ten years, only returning after receiving strong encouragement from Debra Groves Harmon on my social media channels. Once I began to write again, I read other works as well. I still remember the day I found Jenny’s articles, and I was instantly hooked! Emotionally powerful, jaw-dropping, and a unique individual from all others, Jenny’s stories and poetry captivated my spirit. She’s the first Medium writer I donated to and probably, to this day, is the person I’ve donated to the most!
I became an instant fan and read everything I could. Jenny proved to me that excellent writers were on Medium, and it was a platform and community worth pursuing. Had I not found Jenny, I might have returned to writing on my website.
She even honored me by writing in my publication. The articles continue to shine, and I’m thrilled she now writes on Substack. Her words perfectly convey the exact message she intends, and not a single word is wasted or out of place—a quality I tremendously admire and strive for.
I’ve been fortunate enough to talk to her on my Discord, and she’s also donated to me. Whenever I see an email with her name on it, I know it will be a fantastic time. Jenny also was the first person I ever heard narrate her writing on Medium and I was shocked to find out it was her. I thought it must be an AI or robot voice, but nope! She’s that good. Her calm and soothing voice was precisely what her writing called for, and I was in awe at her talent. I wonder if I’ll ever reach her level, but I’m constantly reminded to try whenever she writes.
To Jenny, thank you for the countless hours of peaceful and profound reading and your support over the years.
And there they are—my anchor points—the writers and friends who made an impact, helped lift me up when I was down, and encouraged me to continue moving forward.
You can find all of them inside my recommendation list, and I strongly encourage you to subscribe and read all ten.
You won’t regret it.
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Those who encouraged:
Tracy Chrest
Debra Groves Harman
Dana DuBois
These are great introductions of some great people, I love to read.
Oh my gosh Patrick, this is SO WONDERFUL!!! Ahhhh I’m so honored to be mentioned here with so many amazing writers and humans. Thank you, thank you—I might need to write something like this. So many people have been there for me as I’ve grown as a writer and publisher, including you! What a wonderful way to honor them/us. 💜💜💜💜💜