I'm Frustrated With the Democratic Party

20 years is a long time to feel like you don't belong

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I’ve been thinking — a dangerous pastime, I know.

I voted for Kamala this year and every other Democrat I could in the 2024 election. In fact, I’ve voted nearly straight-ticket Democratic while living in Texas for the last 20 years…and I’m tired of it.

In 2004, my best friend volunteered for a local Houston candidate in the Texas State House of Representatives and asked if I wanted to join him for the final two weeks. It was easy money, and I didn’t like the war. I also believe in gay rights and a better medical system, both of which John Kerry and the Democratic platform promised. In the end, though, both candidates lost.

From 2008 to 2012, I was big on the Obama train, and to my shock, things actually got better for the issues I cared about. Gay marriage was finally legalized, and Obamacare… well, it’s there. However, something strange happened in 2016, and I don’t think I ever got over it.

Bernie Sanders.

I remember the 2016 election cycle like this…

Everyone in power wanted Hillary Clinton to win the primary in 2008, but Obama showed up. By 2016, Hillary had placed her own people in power at the DNC, and the DNC pulled hard for her because “she deserved it.” Okay, fine. On the other side of the aisle, Donald Trump was not the Republican party favorite. The RNC leaders wanted anyone else other than Trump, but the votes came in, and he won the nomination. Conversely, Bernie also wasn’t the party favorite. However, unlike Trump, he had to compete with super delegates (aka party leaders and donors) who were allowed to add their votes as delegates. So, even though people were overwhelmingly caucusing for Bernie, super delegates were overwhelmingly for Hilary. When the convention occurred, I felt betrayed. I wanted him to fight for us and keep running. I wanted him to force Hillary to do the things he promised. He was allowed to speak, but his support for Hillary felt very forced, and I saw it on his face.

Millions of people felt robbed by a DNC that had actively worked on stopping a democratic-socialist from winning “their” nomination even while publicly stating otherwise. And guess who capitalized on this? Oh yeah, Donald Trump.

A few weeks later, I watched Trump take the stage at the RNC convention, and despite every weird, rambling lie, one phrase stuck in my mind for eight years.

“Poor Bernie. He never had a chance.”

To quote Dave Chappelle on SNL, “And like that, a star was born.” Trump’s phrase rang loudly in my mind and, to this day, makes me angry because it was true. And the thing that I hate most is having to say out loud that Donald Trump was right.

And you know what, it made a lot of people angry. Every time Trump said the system was rigged and pointed at Hillary, I had to agree because I watched it happen. I watched her rig a nomination. I watched her lie and force DNC leaders to repeat that lie for months. She stole that nomination from the American people and paid for it with a stupid loss. The whole system was rigged, and we all knew it, yet only one candidate said so.

Fast forward eight years.

It’s now 2024, and Trump owns every square inch of the Republican party. He has been running for president for 10 years straight. Don’t believe me? He never stopped talking to stadiums full of people even while President, even while he wasn’t in office. It never stopped. In the meantime, Democrats keep talking about how much they hate me and everyone who looks like me. That is to say, white men.

I’m not ignorant of my own privilege. I’ve never done the research, but considering I have a direct lineage to people who were on the Mayflower, I’m pretty sure I have slave owners as relatives at some point. This country has torn itself apart over race for hundreds of years, and I showed up in 1982. So, I try to help everyone I can. I try to be friendly and kind and love my neighbors and friends. I’ve raised a family as well as I could and passed on the lessons of tolerance, understanding, and acceptance. These are everyday things and not just voting every four years. I’ve spent 42 years trying to be a regular human being who treats everyone fairly and equally. Not just because my ancestors were probably slave owners but because that’s the kind of human I want to be and want everyone else to be. But it seems not to be enough anymore.

There are Democrats who really hate me even though I’m not my slave owning ancestors, but the Democratic party sure makes me feel like I am. I’ve never beaten up a trans-identifying person, but the Democratic party sure makes me feel like I did. And yes, that matters to me. When I vote, I get to vote for me, too.

It’s exhausting to always feel like I have to vote for someone else’s best interest because I know they are hurting and suffering. I know they need better representation and a better life. But it’s a two-party system, and the other political party is starting to represent me more than the one I’ve been voting for. It’s not racist for me to hope my family isn’t judged just because we are white. My family isn’t full of bigots because we don’t agree with how the Department of Education treats the school system that my three kids attend and my brother and sister-in-law work for. I’m not a misogynist for wanting a more robust border patrol. But that’s the choice I’m left with here.

I have to choose between a party that wants mass deportations or a party that treats me like shit because I’ll never make up for what my ancestors did. I have to choose between a party that can’t even bring itself to make me feel like a human being anymore or a party that supposedly hates everyone else.

Here’s a real shocker — Not everyone who voted for Trump is a racist, misogynist, bigot. I don’t know what else to tell you if you don’t believe this.

The people group that has been in power for hundreds of years in the Western world were a bunch of psychopaths, but I’m not, and no one deserves to be treated like they are.

It’s very clear to me that white men are the bane of everyone else’s existence and for good reason. But I can’t change my skin color for that party and I shouldn’t have to.

There are a lot of reasons Kamala lost and we can study those for the next 3 years and then try again. I know political candidates lie. I know they would rather be paid than do a good job. But I swear to god, someone from the Democratic Party better at least try to talk about something that affects me and helps my family.

No one there seems to care anymore.