I’m Breaking Up with Saturday
She’s a Liar
She’s a Liar
Dear Saturdays,
I don’t love you anymore. As a kid, I loved your early morning cartoons and breakfast cereals. I loved being the first awake in a perfectly quiet, empty house. I would sneak out of my bedroom to not wake my big brother and quietly turn on the living room TV. The UHF channels were my favorite, but occasionally, VHF had some great shows too. Sonic the hedgehog (the darker version), Thundercats, He-man, and GI Joe made me look forward to that morning every week.
But then something happened; I grew up. Now Saturdays are about trying to beat my 9-year-old to the living room so I can watch what I want or at least drink my coffee before I’m forced to stare at Victorious or The Oddballs. I’ve watched the entire series of Liv and Maddie over five times over the last few years. I can tell you what happens in the episode just by reading the title. I don’t care for the dogs I have to let out and hear bark at the neighbors, and I don’t particularly enjoy the loud eleven-year-old son who needs his ADHD meds as soon as he wakes up at 8 am before I’ve had even one single cup of the strongest coffee I can create.
You lied to me all those years ago, and I don’t appreciate it. I thought we would always be together. I thought that I’d look forward to your beautiful sunrise and warm blankets as they touched my cold skin. But now I know the truth. You’re a cruel mistress and a liar.
Goodbye forever.
Sincerely,
Patrick