How to Get Your Spiritual Article Boosted by Medium…Maybe
I don’t promise promises often, but I promise I’ll try to sarcasticly promise.
Medium +
I don’t promise promises often, but I promise I’ll try to sarcasticly promise.
Thank you to Robin Wilding 💎 for proofreading.
Introduction
You’ve heard of Disney+, AppleTV+, Paramount+, and ESPN+, but now it’s time for Medium+. Here, I’m writing a series of articles where I teach you to give up on Medium and instead use Medium+. This 100% accurate and totally not sarcastic look at a platform I love and make part of my living off of will have you swimming in pennies faster than Scrouge McDuck.
In part one, I told you how to make a better Medium Following Tab by abandoning the actual Medium Following tab and using a better third-party app called Feedly. It’s a serious, non-sarcasic article; you’ll find it below.
How to Create a Better Medium Following Tab
Give your self the Following tab you’ve always wantedmedium.com
But today, let’s not abandon Medium for a better third-party app. No, let’s discuss boosted articles specifically in my area of expertise in what is absolutely not a rant but could be honest advice.
Spirituality, religion, and philosophy are the three key areas I’ve always focused on in my writing. These are my passions, hobbies, and time-waisters. If I could show you my bookshelf, it would be full of rich, fake leatherbound books. It would smell like a fancy Walmart, my garage, or an Amazon warehouse full of robots and underpaid labor. But still, there are books, and those books are about those three topics.
However, my other favorite pastime is submitting articles to the Boost Nomination Pilot program. I’ve thoughtfully written about my involvement a few times already.
A Medium Boost Nominator’s Update
You can hear data speak if you listen.medium.com
However, if you saw my bookshelf, you’d notice no books about boosting Medium articles. No guide, manual, or ancient parchment other than the guidelines you can find on this website, which I can’t print out because I’m out of black ink.
I recently talked with Kimberly Fosu about boosting spiritual content and the struggles of matching our definition of “good spiritual writing” with Medium’s curation team. In my conversation with her, Kimberly had several good ideas, and after asking permission, I’m glad to pass these along to you — dear spiritual writer and deep thinker. I also have a few thoughts of my own.
With a big heart and a big brain, I present the first and only very short book-ish on how to maybe (not 100%) get your spiritual, philosophical, or religious article boosted by Medium.
Chapter 1 - Write your article about a first hand experience
Being a nominator who is “out” (aka public about my nomination ability), I welcome my writers to submit their articles and ask how they could improve their chances of being boosted. My first advice is this: for the love of God, write about yourself or someone you know.
If you’re writing about a dead cat, please make it about your dead cat. If I Google stories about dead cats, I can find thousands of them. Just try it right now in another tab. I’ll wait.
But what makes your dead cat story unique is that it’s your dead cat. Tell me your favorite memory of your departed feline, or write about the emotions you felt while digging a semi-large hole in the summer heat in Texas when it’s 115 F (43 C) outside and you couldn’t get your kids to grab you a glass of water because they are too busy playing cowboys around you!
Chapter 2 — Be a F**cking Expert in Your Field Or A Good Liar
In this chapter, I’d like to anger the Medium gods by making a list inside a Medium article. By the way, you shouldn’t do this often if you want to be accepted for a boost.
Have genuine credentials in the field of study you’re writing about
Make it sound like you have genuine credentials in the field of study you’re writing about.
Convince your reader by any means necessary that you have genuine credentials in the field of study you’re writing about.
Prove to the reader that you are who you say you are and that you speak with authority. Have you ever accepted a job you weren’t prepared for but faked it well in the interview? That’s what writing a spiritual article should sound like. Fake it until you make it, people. I’m really good at faking it. If you’re my ex and you’re reading this, I changed my number already, so don’t bother texting me.
Chapter 3 — Be a Friend to Everyone
I know much of this book-ish thing is poor humor, but this advice is the real s**t and super easy. Are you ready? Be nice to everyone. It’s like the Bible says in Matthew 618:1…
And Jesus said unto his deciples, “Don’t be a f***ing d**k. Amen.”
When you write about your spiritual beliefs, remember that they are only YOUR spiritual beliefs. Most beliefs are called beliefs because they were generally made up by someone at some time. Yes, there is evidence for whatever and proof of whomever, so just write from your heart and try not to bleed on the page. Getting blood stains out of your keyboard is hard work. Trust me.
Chapter 4 — The Ending
And so we’ve reached the end of a short, unimportant article about how to absolutely submit your writing to a nominator who can then submit your article to a Medium curator booster person who can then maybe boost your essay. It’s so easy.
You’ve got everything going for you except for the ability to actually submit or boost articles, but you can apply for that power. I just don’t remember where. Just Google it. Don’t ask me because I’m just going to Google it. I mean, you’re an adult. You can just Google it.
With these fantastic tips, one day, you too can live the dream of having your article boosted! It will cure your insomnia, bring your dog back to life, and make it rain gold coins from the sky. The earth will open before your feet, and you’ll start to s**t bricks of silver! I’m sure I read somewhere that 20 pieces of silver are worth a ton.
I hope you enjoyed this farcical theory of getting your article boosted. If you’d like to support my writing, please consider leaving a tip or making a donation to my organization.
