How to Break Free from Your Attachments and Embrace Change
How Letting Go Transforms Your Life
How Letting Go Transforms Your Life
When I was 13, my youth pastor at church told the teenagers to throw away our possessions and doing so would open us to God. A large trashcan was brought into the gym and left there so that anyone could throw away what they wanted. My friends threw away their favorite CDs, makeup, and old toys, mementos from past friends and relationships, and other items. By the end of the week, the trashcan was nearly full. What did I throw away? Nothing.
I used to carry around a pair of drumsticks with me because, well, I played drums at school and home. So, I guess I thought I would look cool. When asked why I didn’t want to throw away my drumsticks I simply stated, “You know that I use these for our church band, right? You know what brings me closer to God? By using the talents He gave me. If God gave me this gift, and gave me the ability to love, why should I throw it away?”
No one had an answer for me and once I told my friends, they stopped throwing away items too.
It was right then I knew I had touched on a fundamental difference between what I heard about attachments vs. what I felt was true. But yet, my pastor told me the object causing me to feel love is bad because it’s not a picture of Jesus or the Bible? How can this be possible?
Buddhists
I learned about the 4 noble truths during my spiritual dark ages- the period of time in my 30s. I sought answers for why I felt so shitty every day. Was the answer my stuff, desires, or attachments?
In my opinion, Buddhists understood the folly of cravings, desires, and attachments better than anyone. In fact, they codified it in what they call the Four Noble Truths. I found these truths to be real in my life, but only to a point.
4 Noble Truths
Life is suffering — You cannot exist without it. Suffering is the human experience and defines our reality.
The cause of suffering is desire — Your desire to be or have someone or something else causes you to feel negative emotions and think thoughts which cause suffering.
The end of suffering comes with an end to craving — If you rid yourself of these desires and attachments, you will end your suffering and live a peaceful existence.
There is a path which leads one away from craving and suffering — This path has a special name, the 8-fold path.
I don’t subscribe to the 4 truths completely, but there is wisdom to be found here.
Can objects come between you and the people you love? Yes. Addiction is a disease which can tear you apart. But do I believe that the love I feel for this attachment comes from a negative place? No.
My Reality — Taoists
I still hold onto my statement from 27 years ago. If this talent or emotion has arisen from within me naturally, then it is not “wrong.” It is me.
Think of a tree. It can grow from a seed twisted with knots. It can be baren of leaves on some branches or missing branches entirely on one side. Yet, because the branches and leaves are missing, the grass is able to grow strong. Because the knots are present, the tree can’t be used for a house or boat or tools, so the tree can stand for decades.
You and I are the trees. We are different in shape and size, talents and gifts, color and weight. But that doesn’t make us broken or wrong. It makes us human.
So, take heart and keep your chin up. You are a walking, talking, miracle of nature. You are the universe talking back to itself and I think you’re pretty awesome the way you are.
