Hamburgers Are Made Out of What?
The Lie I Told My Daughter
FOODSTUFFS
The Lie I Told My Daughter
When I was 24, my 19-year-old girlfriend, whom I had only known for three months, became pregnant. That was the start of life for my daughter, Susie.
After two more years of dating, Susie’s mother and I got engaged and married after an additional year. Now seven years old, Susie was starting to ask questions. Of course, I’d always wanted to play the same dumb tricks that my parents pulled on me. Susie was doomed when she got me as a Dad.
We were having an evening dinner, and my wife had cooked homemade hamburgers. We served them to Susie and tore up some small bits for our son, who was 3.
I watched her play with the food. She always had this thing where she wouldn’t eat the hamburger as a sandwich but instead take the hamburger apart and eat each section (bun, meat with cheese, bun) one part at a time. I’m not sure what upset me, but I had many emotional problems to work out back then, and maybe this was a trigger for one.
Regardless, I watched her eat the top and bottom bun and finally reach the beef. As she took small bites, my wife got up to use the restroom. I turned to Susie and asked, “Hey, do you know what hamburgers are made out of?”
Her eyes darted to the patty and back at me, “No.” She stated calmly.
Without breaking a smile or losing my nerve, I said, “It’s a horse. Hamburgers are made from horse meat.”
While writing this story, I asked Susie what ran through her mind back then. And here is what she told me today.
“I panicked! I just remember being like, oh my god! Because I had all those horse dolls and little kid books about pretty horses and now, I was eating them!”
From my point of view, I could tell the wheels were turning up there in her mind, but her mouth kept chewing, and she let the conversation go. My wife reentered the room, sat down, and fed our son again.
Fast forward several years, and she must have eventually figured out the truth at school. I didn’t even remember telling her until she relentlessly held it against me when she was about eight. So, whenever anyone brings up playing tricks on kids, Susie brings up this story.
To this day, Susie doesn’t like beef or steak in any meal.
When I’m dead, and she has to make a speech at my funeral, I’m almost positive this story will be told. She might even put it on my tombstone.
“Here lies Patrick. Husband, Father, Son, Horse meat liar.”
Follow Sweary Mommy for more of Patrick Stewart and his harrowing truths about where oh where your little dog went.